So you're planning a ceremony.. Congratulations!

For thousands of years, humans have used ceremony to help us adapt to change and strengthen our sense of belonging and personal identity..

Ceremony is a powerful medium through which to announce intentions, express love, celebrate life's new beginnings, honour accomplishments, and make our farewells.

Here are some simple principles to keep in mind, to help you achieve the kind of experience you're hungering for...

One: Figure out what is most important and keep it firmly in your line of sight

The first step to a truly fulfilling ceremony experience is to get really clear for yourself what is most important to you..

We've all encountered 'empty' ceremony at some time or another. It's the kind of experience that feels like 'going through the motions' or 'all form and no substance'. It does not leave you feeling enlivened or uplifted.

On the other hand, when ceremony is a channel for authentic emotion, when it helps us to contact an experience which is both very personal and at the same time a universal human truth, it has the power to 'move' us both emotionally and spiritually.

So, when you find yourself at one of those traditional (or not so traditional) points which turn your thoughts toward ceremony, the first and most helpful step you can take is to begin to reflect more deeply about what it really means to you to create or participate in this ceremony.

What prompted you to get married?  What does getting married mean to you?  What kinds of promises do you wish to make or receive as part of this ceremony?

What started you thinking about holding a naming ceremony for your child? If you are thinking of appointing god-parents, mentors or guardians, what do you see their role as being?  

Is there a special significance to the timing of your ceremony?

Some of our reasons for wanting a ceremony will arise from our recent experiences, what is going on in our lives right now. Other reasons will stem from much earlier experiences in our lives - and the web of personal beliefs, emotional associations and core values we have internalised from them.  Delve deeper into whatever has prompted you to think about holding a ceremony, to see if you can figure out what it is that your spirit is hungry for.

Perhaps you are seeking a way to express and share your own feelings of love and/or a sense of gratitude for the blessings you've received.

Perhaps you are needing to affirm and enhance your own sense of belonging - to strengthen your sense of loving connection to family and friends.

Perhaps your spirit is hungry for some recognition of your accomplishments, a celebration of your growth and maturation as a person.  Or perhaps you are helping to create this ceremony for someone you love, as a way of honouring their growth and contributions to your family or community.

Perhaps it is important to you to feel the sense of certainty and reassurance that comes from connecting with a sense of history and tradition.  Or prehaps for you the need for variety, to find your own unique twist on a common human theme is equally or more important.

Chances are good that as you begin to get clear about what is most important to you in holding this ceremony, you will find yourself reflecting about what is most important to you in your life more generally.

You can try this process in reverse also. Thinking about what is most important to you about the way you live your life can help you get clearer about what matters the most for you in the way that your ceremony is designed and conducted. 

Achieving this kind of congruence between your ceremony and your core values will help assure you of a more meaningful ceremony experience - one which will touch your own heart as well as the hearts of those around you.

It is a basic energetic law that whatever you focus on you will get more of.

This is true whether that focus is a creative conscious intention or a less-conscious belief that we have about ourselves and the world. So if we're going to get the best from our ceremony experience, it helps to have a clear positive intention about the kind of experience we are wanting to create.

How do you want to feel as you reach the end of this ceremony experience?

How do you want those around you to be feeling?

Write your conclusions down and put them where you can see them as you go about the business of organising your event. This is especially important for those who are planning a wedding with a very long planning horizon. Use your written intention for your ceremony like a compass to help you stay on track with your preparations. 

Celtic Wedding Vow

You cannot possess me for I belong to myself.
But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give.
You cannot command me, for I am a free person.
But I shall serve you in those ways you require,
And the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.
I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night,
And the eyes into which I smile in the morning.
I pledge to you the first bite of my meat and the first drink from my cup.
I pledge to you my living and my dying, each equally in your care.
I shall be a shield for your back and you for mine.
I shall not slander you, nor you me.
I shall honor you above all others, and when we quarrel we shall do so in
Private and tell no strangers our grievances.
This is my wedding vow to you
This is the marriage of equals.

I thought it was just beautiful, and wanted to share it with you all :-)

blessings,
Ishara

This is the heart of the marriage ceremony.  It can be as simple as making an announcement before the assembled witnesses that you take each other as lawfully wedded husband and wife. Or it can be more elaborate…
 
   1. Preliminary Question and Response (Before the public declaration)

For example:-

Celebrant:  The covenant of marriage is one that can be entered into only by persons who are both legally and spiritually free to offer themselves to one another. 
GROOM, do you come of your free will and with a conscious desire to be united in marriage with BRIDE?

Groom: I do.

Celebrant: Will you promise to care for BRIDE in the joys and sorrows of life, come what may, and to share the responsibility for growth and enrichment of your life together?

Groom: I will.

   2. Public Declaration  (Legally required)

“I call upon the people present here to witness that  I, GROOM’s NAME,  do take you, BRIDE’s NAME, to be my lawful wedded wife”

The legally required wording can be extended to include elaborations such as “for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health,  in sadness and in joy ..until death do us part" or similar.  Alternatively, you may wish to follow your public declaration with a more personal promise to your beloved.


   3. Personal Promises or Vows (Following the public declaration)

The Public Declaration is addressed to the whole assembly of guests.  If you wish to make your pledge of loving commitment more personal, at this point you may want to turn and speak directly your beloved and make a more personal vow or promise, either in your own words or using some beautiful wording that you have found. 

For example:-

"[Name], you are my beloved,
to love and to cherish,
to have and to hold,
for richer, for poorer,
for better, for worse,
in sickness and in health,
in sadness and in joy,
to share our lives together,
from this day forward."

There are many beautiful wedding vows freely available on the internet.  For a starting point, you might try the veritable encyclopedia of vows from many traditions and in many genres available on myweddingvows.com

Writing your own vows

The idea of writing your own vows, to voice the very personal feelings of love that you have for your partner on your wedding day, can seem very appealing, yet in practice the process can feel somewhat daunting.   So here are some ideas to help you write a personal promise that will speak from your own heart directly to the heart of your beloved.
 
All the authors who write on this topic agree that you need to start with a process of personal reflection, preferably with a pen in hand so that you can note down any words or ideas that come to mind.  You’ll want to begin by reflecting upon what you love about your relationship, what it means to you that you are marrying, and the kind of marriage partner that you aspire to be.

Some questions that can guide this process are offered below. To begin with, jot down all the thoughts` that come up in response to each question. Then you can go back through your notes and circle or underline any words that you would like to include in your vow.

• What is your favorite memory of your partner?
  

• What are the qualities you love most about your beloved?

• When did you know that you were in love / know that this person was the one you wanted to marry?

• What does marriage mean to you? Why do you want to be a married person?

• What kind of husband/wife do you aspire to be?

• How do you want your relationship to change as a result of getting married? What things do you hope will stay the same?

Your next task is to put all these words and ideas together into a seemless whole.  Give yourself permission to play.  It may take a few drafts to come up with something that you are happy with.

One of the most directly practical suggestions for writing your own vows that I have come across so far is this simple personal vow template from About.com.    Try filling in the blanks with your own words.

    (Name of your sweetheart),

    you are my… (best friend, one true love, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, etc.)

    Today, I take you to be my… (wife, husband, lawfully wedded wife or husband, life partner, etc.)

    I promise you that I will be … (faithful, worthy of your trust, worthy of your love, your loving partner, etc.)

    I vow to …(honor you, cherish you, love you, respect you, laugh with you, cry with you, support you in your goals, etc.),

    (insert here the length of your vow, for example, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live.)

   Found on  http://weddings.about.com/od/yourweddingceremony/a/PersonalizeVows.htm    

The idea of 'writing your own wedding vows' is a relatively modern one.  If you feel curious, you may like to get a short historical perspective on wedding vows - by reading this blog article by Laura Vivanco entitled "O Promise Me!": Marriage Vows through History."

My first attempt to put something together about the idea of 'green' or 'eco-friendly' weddings was ill-fated. It disappeared into  cyberspace before I managed to hit the 'publish' button.  I will have another go at compiling some more local resources, but in the interrim, this article gives you an overview of the kinds of issues you may want to take into account when planning your wedding celebration with an eye to being kind to the planet...

A Great Green Wedding

Dressed in white can have a green twist. There are a number of ways to make your perfect day as environmentally friendly as possible. Here are some important ideas to consider for a great green wedding:

Invitations - everyone knows that the right paper stock is one of the most important decisions you can make when it comes to pre wedding day planning. But instead of going for a heavy card stock with environmentally damaging gloss or matte, consider if you need to have paper invitations at all!

Many wedding websites have sprung up to allow couples to plan their day and give guests all the information they need in paper saving electronic format. Couples can upload photos, tell their special story and direct guests to their registry on line. Many also have an RSVP feature so you can manage your list with a few clicks of the mouse. You and your mother can argue over background colours and menu patterns to your hearts 'content!

Dress - The right dress makes the memories. That doesn't mean you need to spend a small fortune (not to mention create a heavy environmental cost) with a tailor made piece that will just sit in your wardrobe for years to come. Consider vintage pieces or family pieces, there is nothing more sentimental to your mother, than walking down the aisle in same dress she wore back in the day. (You can tailor and amend it to suit your own taste and fashion of course!) Meanwhile, some companies create beautiful custom made pieces from sustainable fabrics , such as hemp, bamboo or organic cotton. Some even "upcycle" older gowns.

Gifts - Do you really want to face the possibility of ending up with two chip dippers or a variety of toasters that you'll have some trouble returning? You can use your special day to promote some well deserving charities and eco causes. Ask your guests to make a donation to your favourite in lieu of presents, then you can be sure you're getting the exact model of kettle you want!

Flowers - Consider the season when picking your flower arrangements. Out of season arrangements are often shipped from overseas adding to miles and emissions. There are also a number of issues regarding the ethics of the cut flower industry, with many sources citing cheap labour and unfair work conditions. Australia is abundant with beautiful species of wattles, banksias and colourful kangaroo paws for a truly unique look. Better yet, go organic!

Food - Organic caterers are all the rage. They provide some of the best food that you know is pesticide free and delightfully delicious. Look for a baker that uses organic eggs and flour and other sustainable ingredients.

Venue and transport - Pick a venue that's easy to get to and encourage your guests to carpool, or better yet, provide some shuttle bus transport yourself. Having the reception in the same place as the ceremony also cuts down on travel and emissions.

Rings - Eco is a girl's best friend. Lots of great companies "up cycle" jewellery from older pieces. Take in an old family heirloom and have it recrafted to create your own one of a kind piece.

Find more green wedding ideas from the Green Pages, Australia's number one green directory.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/weddings-articles/a-great-green-wedding-773848.html

Australia's number one green directory and environmental news source at www.thegreenpages.com.au

I was born and raised in Perth, Western Australia. After completing an honours degree in French literature at the University of Western Australia, my first paid job was as a computer programmer and business systems analyst at the WA Water Authority. In 1994 I left this role to devote myself to mothering my newborn son, and soon found myself fully occupied by a combination of motherhood, voluntary community projects and then as a paid part-time administrator in a sequence of two local not-for-profit organisations. When funding for my position in the second of these dried up, I decided to follow my passion and launch my own small business offering custom-designed ceremonies for individuals and groups.

I believe that I bring a wealth of experience in designing and facilitating ceremonies to my current role as a professional celebrant.  Over many years I have enjoyed opportunities to co-create ceremonies for a range of occasions in a variety of personal and community contexts. These have included ceremonies to honour significant birthdays, on the eve of marriage (alternative to hens night), as a co-celebrant at a wedding, to celebrate and attune to the local cycle of seasons (we have six not four here in Perth), to welcome new babies into their families, for the opening of a major conference, and for women wanting to explore their connection to the divine feminine. Training and registering as a civil celebrant (in 2008) was a logical next step for me.

These days I lives with my partner Miriam, son Robin and step-son Aiden, and two other teenaged step-children who visit on weekends – a busy but happy family. My leisure activities include walking on the beach, reading, dancing, and the occasional camping trip.  I am also a certified leader of the Dances of Universal Peace – a form of sacred dance meditation which draws on a wide range of world spiritual traditions.

Fancy a little bit of historical colour for your wedding celebrations?  Going medieval might be just the thing...

Gorgeous Lace & Velvet Wedding Gowns with a Medieval Flavour - found in Fremantle, Western Australia

Last Monday I got very inspired by a visit to Sonja at Medieval Creations in the E-Shed Markets on Victoria Quay, Fremantle.

The E-Shed Markets are a bit of a rabbit warren, but its well worth the time it takes to ferret out Sonja's shop and discover the amazing array of gorgeous lace and velvet gowns that she has created, in all colours of the rainbow as well as the traditional bridal white.

Sonja was telling me that making dresses from luscious fabrics has been her passion since she was three years old.  She has a large range of pre-made dresses, but also makes to order.  Sonja tells me that she no longer accepts postal orders because she was getting much too busy... So if you live in Western Australia, you are in luck!   Sonja advised me that she likes it best when someone comes in and says 'our wedding is next month'.  If they come in a long way in advance, she generally tells them to come back to her closer to the time. 

You can take a look at some more of her range on her website www.medievalcreations.com.au or by going down to her shop Friday, Saturday, Sunday & public holidays between 9am and 5:30pm.

Make your own Medieval Pavillion

 If you are planning an outdoor wedding or reception, this medieval pavillion not only adds colour, but might also afford a bit of shelter from the elements..

You'll find the full instructions from Baroness Mira Silverlock (mka Tanya Guptill) at http://www.currentmiddleages.org/tents/minipavilion.htm

A Medieval Wedding Guide

If you are wanting to go the whole hog with the Medieval Wedding theme, you may enjoy this free downloadable Medieval Wedding Guide by Vanessa Hand of House Drakstonne. In it she provides a detailed month by month planner of the many things that need to be arranged for an authentically medieval theme wedding.

More Medieval Wedding Resources (including the WA Branch of the SCA)

Another wonderful resource is the Society for Creative Anachronism, an international non-profit educational organisation that is dedicated to the research and recreation of pre-17th century European History, with a particular focus on its practical applications in arts and sciences, including costuming, cooking, martial arts, dance, calligraphy and illumination, metalwork, archery and music (to name but a few!).  One enterprising member of this international network has compiled an archive of resources that might be helpful to anyone wanting to get seriously medieval about their wedding - look for the entry 'weddings' at the bottom of the index list on the left hand side of the page. 

The local Western Australian branch of the SCA is known as the Barony of Aneala. It's members share a passion for all things medieval and renaissance, and would probably welcome your curiousity.  Check their website for local Perth events and contacts.

Glassware for a medieval look

Polyresin and glass goblets - that look like pewter stemmed glasses. 

Available through Amazon and a handful of other online outlets.

Medieval Theme Wedding Ceremony

I would be very pleased to help you devise a wedding ceremony with a medieval flavour. Check out my website for contact details.